I know some women can’t wait to change their surnames when they get married. They’re so keen you wonder if the possibility of a new identity was the main marriage motivator?
But what if you were marrying into this family? I noticed them when I was off camping at the weekend.
How would you handle that awkward conversation about not taking his surname with your fiance? Or would you embrace it as well as him?
If you did decide to take it on, wouldn’t it be annoying to mistakenly think you were being called every time someone in earshot got cross about something? (“Oh sorry, I didn’t mean you, it was that other ….. I was talking about.”)
Though you’d be able to take conversations in unexpected ways. “Oh, he’s a right …… that one.” “Is he? Wonder if we’re related?”
It would be fun writing angry letters to the newspaper. Would they dare to print them?
And what about going through customs? Or even worse – security checks. “Name please?” “…….” “I think I’ll have to ask you to wait here Sir for further questioning.”
School roll call would be hilarious, or excruciating – depending on your sense of mischief.
And would you anticipate sympathetic treatment from a doctor, army officer or priest of this surname? I wouldn’t fancy my chances before a magistrate from that family.
As well as the Dorset architects, the family also included one of Britain’s most notorious politicians, some American cousins who changed the course of World War Two (like many emigrants to the new world they changed their name to fit in), a Scottish branch of the clan who tended towards being a bit overweight and a comic strip child.
But enough about the boys in the family – except to note that they clearly doted on their sisters. (See right.)
Hmmm… Wonder how the girls felt about the whole marriage-name change question?
Blackwatertown 
I would join the army with that name, just so one day I could become Major Bastard.
Modern technology would make school horrendous for anyone with this name—text messages, etc.
I wouldn’t do it — he’d have to take my last name, or we’d keep our separate names. No….after that short thought, he’d definitely have to change to mine.
If a German married into the family, she could be an Utta Bastard.
And did the Bastards have any bastards?
I’ll skip this one!
I met a few of them in my time – all going under different names mind you….
Omigoodness! This is the best! If they did anything wrong – and I mean anything, “Those damn Bastards!” 😉 They couldn’t get away with anything. Ever.
If one can live with being called Mrs. Balls, of Mrs.Sidebottom, why not Mrs. Bastard?
Good point. So what does the wife of Ed Balls (former British cabinet minister & current shadow chancellor) call herself? Answer: Yvette Cooper. Not Balls.
(She was a cabinet minister herself & is current shadow Home Secretary.)
it would Be The Little Ones I Would Worry About…………….
The possiblilities are endless…lol 😉 And they’d definately have to change their name to mine!
This is great! Now if I could only find a Monica to marry…
~Mike
I know a woman named Taylor who married a man whose last name is Taylor. She now goes by Taylor Taylor. No lie!
Welcome.
I bet she’s too scared to ever take her clothes to the tailor in case she’s accused of taking the p….
That’s funny. Especially in roll call in school.
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Interestingly, according to the Wikipedia entry, John and William Bastard never married…wonder if that was their choice or if they just couldn’t find girls who take on their names. So were they the end of the line? Or did they have kids out of wedlock who just took the mother’s name?
Having said that, the fact that they were successful architects (I assume, since they have an entry on Wikipedia) suggests that ‘Bastard’ perhaps didn’t have the same meaning then as it does now. What dynamism the English language has!
Sounds like their sisters never married either, if they built a house for the lot of them. Perhaps the unfortunate surname has died out!