Balls, bastards and all those other rude-sounding surnames… At least they raise a clear red flag. If you take his name on marriage, you know what you’re getting into.
He's an arse & he's got a tickler.
But sometimes something seemingly innocent can catch you completely unawares – and be devastatingly hilarious. For the rest of us anyway.
Thanks for the feedback on when I first revealed those startling signs – and for Renée A. Schuls-Jacobsonen’s kind post. (She’s funny and clever and clearly a perceptive judge of excellence, over at Lessons From Teachers and Twits.)
But it was Rummuser who reminded me when he mentioned Sidebottom as a surname to think carefully about adopting. I know a Sidebottom. Fine man he is too. Never noticed any sniggering or teasing at work. It’s just not funny enough – though I guess it was probably giggle-worthy at school.
But then I remembered my favourite.
Oh yes – you’ll like this one.
It’s subtle.
I have a friend. Well respected. Successful. Professional. Has a public profile. Jolly good all round.
His surname is Stickler. Nothing untoward about that. But wait for it… (I won’t mention his first name.)
He was fortunate enough to persuade a lovely woman called Rachel to marry him. She took his name. Nothing wrong with that either. Until…
Until you consider the result when you address her by her new title, initial and surname combined.
Go on – try it. You can say it out loud if that helps.
See what I mean? No one deserves that.
Just picture her in a doctor’s waiting room, queuing in an office waiting to be called, in line for an audition – or sitting in Mo’s bar bracing herself for that phone call from Bart.
Blackwatertown 
Sidebottom in the UK is unlikely to raise an eyebrow, but in India it will, just like other great names like Lightbody, Peabody, Higginbottoms, Savage, Beardsell etc. These are names that were common during the colonial times in India and were cause for much behind the back humour. Poor Rachel! I can even imagine the first name of her husband that you do not want to reveal!
Just checked with an 11-year-old – you’re right Sidebottom is officially funny.
Not sure you’ve guessed the husband’s first name. But you’ve also just reminded me of another – he’s the brother of a friend: surname Seaman, first name Richard. He never shortens the first name.
It only got better!
Bart always calls Mo’s and the bartender pages Ben Dover.
I positively should NOT have read this just prior to teaching a class today. Hopefully I won’t snicker or worse, burst out laughing.
When I married my husband, I was glad to take his name (Fonte). It wasn’t til we were naming our first daughter that I realized that one of my favorite names, Ella, would not be appropriate. I’m glad we caught it in time, though. Can you imagine? Especially considering the big ears that run on his side.
Thanks for the post! You made me laugh!
Narrow escape.
Then there’s this poor kid.
Ooh… Nasty!
Oooh no. Bet her eyes are down when her name is called.
I am coming rapidly to the conclusion that if I ever get married I will without any shadow of a doubt be keeping my own name!!! lol 😉
thank you for sharing this post..