This may seem perverse – especially after what I said about Uncle Joe last time around. But last night was a revelation.
He may be a contender for the title of world’s worst butcher, but just to be clear – when it comes to a choice between Stalin, Lady Di and something like a peasant – Stalin is by far the preferred option, with Lady Di in second place.
As for third place – that’s just
Of course I’m talking about bottles of red wine.
We picked them up on the way to a friendly Afghan place in Hanwell. The eatery was unlicenced – so we dropped in to see a Latvian angel.
Or to be more precise – Angel from Latvia. She stocks an extensive array of Georgian and Moldovan wines, and was happy to chat about old times in Latvia and Lenin and Stalin.
But why on earth would you stick a picture of a mass murderer on your bottle of wine?
Is that the best symbol of Georgia?
I suppose it could work as an encouragement to people to drink to forget.
But what next?
- Pol Pot port?
- Hitler hock?
- Caligula chianti?
- Oppenheimer ale?
- Bokassa beer?
- Brains Bitter? (Oh, actually that last one does exist and is quite tasty. They make it in Cardiff. It was the first British beer to appeal to me.)
Angel also sold us some Polish beer. I didn’t approve of that purchase. It smacked of timidity when faced with the prospect of drinking the wine. (I’ve nothing against Polish lager itself. When I worked in Kielce many years ago, it was my first small step back to drinking beer – then nudged along further by bars in Czechoslovakia. That was in the days before “Irish” pubs took over the world.)
So we sampled all three wines. I’ve already given you my opinion above. Shamefully our party failed to meet the challenge of emptying the bottles and switched to the Polish beer.
Still – it could have been worse. Angel’s parting words to us as we left her shop laden with bottles were these: “Would you like this one too? I have some Big Cock.”
Too late. We couldn’t wait. We were already hungry and our arms were too full to manage another novelty shaped bottle with execrable contents.