The recipe for guest blogging.
You can see for yourself here on the People Per Hour blog. Hurrah. They asked me to write for them. So I did. The post is called Why you need to be more like Steve McQueen. (There are a couple of photos too. I’m in one. The good one features Steve McQueen.)
It turns out the secret is simple. Whatever the subject, be sure to feature sex, drugs and Steve McQueen. Well, it worked that time. And I’m doing it right now (er… mentioning them that is) in this blog post (ok, ok, strictly speaking not a guest post). Surely that’s a trend, if not a new universal rule?
Actually Steve McQueen and I go way back, thanks to that Christmas afternoon TV staple, The Great Escape. For a while I answered to Steve (not Stephen) as well as my given name.
Then I enlisted God to bless our special relationship. (It was a special relationship a bit like that of Britain and the USA – with me as Britain and Steve ignorant of my existence.)
I was raised as a Catholic. The time came for my confirmation – which happened while I was at primary school – primary four, I think – so aged eight or nine. Bit young? Yes. But the bishop was visiting the parish so the school decided to get three year groups done in one go.
Confirmation is a religious rite of passage in which the baptised child (or adult) confirms the baptismal vows taken on their behalf by their godparents – reject evil, etc. It’s supposed to happen when the child has reached a certain level of maturity – which should make the age threshold at least 35, or in our case, nine.
Part of the confirmation ceremony is that each child chooses a confirmation name – a second or third private name that symbolises their confirmation of their rebirth in Christ. It had to be a saint’s name.
So to clarify, when writing a guest post on someone else’s blog, be sure to include:
- Steve McQueen
- Or whoever your patron saint or confirmation name is
- Or whoever/whatever you used to watch on Christmas Day telly
One slight catch just occurs to me. That’s all very well for the first post. But what about if they ask me for a second one?
I wonder what used to be on telly earlier in the afternoon before The Great Escape? The Railway Children maybe? Hmmm… Jenny Agutter, flushed face, ripping up her red petticoat. Yes, that could work as a metaphor. With sex and drugs, of course. Might need more thought, but tally ho. Light at the end of the tunnel. We’re off again.