I'll be richer than Dr Evil
People are so so generous.
Or maybe I’m just lucky.
In the past couple of days alone I’ve been offered…
- £1,000,000 in the UK National Lottery by the Black Student Association.
- US$4,500,000 from Burkina Faso.
- US$1,680,000 from Burkina Faso. (Because I’m trustworthy – thanks. Though I may have to marry Jennifer or take her as a sister to get through the formalities of releasing the funds. Best fly to Ouagadougou first to check her out.)
- £1,000,000 from Chevron/Texaco
- A 2011 MERCEDES BENZ GL 550 and £1.000,000. (They advise me to spend the money wisely – not all in the one shop.)
- US$600,000 (Is that all?) from Cote d’Ivoire (which I’m encouraged to share with the needy).
- US$5,000,000 again from Burkina Faso. (Such a rich generous place.)
Which comes to £3M plus US$11.78M and the Merc. And that’s all for me after anyone else has had a cut. Happy Days!
And more important than the money and the car has been the warmth of the language. I’ve been called Beloved, Dear, Dearest in Almighty God and Cher Ami – and offered a hand in marriage, don’t forget.
It’s all too much. What should I do? I’m looking to someone wiser for inspiration. SamHenry was recently nominated for an award, but her sense of fairplay prevented her from accepting. Do you know, I think I’ll follow her example and say – thanks folks, for your very kind offers, but I’m just not worthy. I’d accept a pint though if you’re in the neighbourhood.
You'll be able to afford as many barrels as you like
(But if anyone else wants to contact these kind generous souls – I’ll pass on their details. For a small fee of course. Say, oooh, ten grand. C’mon, that’s peanuts compared to what lies in wait for you.)
Blackwatertown 
I get offered extensions for bits I don’t have and you are offered all the $$$$! What am I doing wrong?
They clearly know me.
Firstly, that I DO need the cash.
Secondly, that I DON’T need… I’ll stop there.
Thanks for the link, Roo. What a fine kettle of fish, eh?
Pleasure.
Yes, I’m offered money like this from time to time, but it is usually as a result of a transaction I don’t recall doing. Or they need me to help their friend. I have to decline as I don’t need the money…
Yes, you have enough Tom and you’re just not greedy.
I’m jealous. You get all the money – I (apparently) am stranded in Cyprus and forced to seek support from all my email contacts to the tune of £2200! Some people clearly have all the luck!
Ah, I haven’t had that one yet.
Good post.
Comedy, wit, and a little darkness.
Oh Grannymar – You made me laugh! I receive offers to “E” — enlarge, enhance, and extend — what I don’t have either 🙂
I’ve heard of the 3 Rs – reading, writing and arithmetic.
Now I know te 3 Es too – enlarge, enhance, extend.
Do you Skype? I get more offers of marriage from randoms than hot dinners. Sadly, I too, like Grannymar am constantly offered extensions for bits I don’t have.
Sometimes skype, but rarely. Perhaps if I want to shift from being offered money to being offered love, I should make more use of it.
Thanks for the smile and laugh! Junk mail and spam have never amused me much before reading your take on it! 🙂
Funny post, and great comments. Love the picture of Dr. Evil.
Dearest in Almighty god???!!!!! Well “dear” lol 😉 I do hope you appreciate these generous offers!! You are clearly going to be very rich and blessed lol and how wonderfully rewarding to know you are the “beloved” of your secret admirer 😉
Paul, wait. You could take a leaf out of Bob Servant’s book… http://www.bobservant.com/resources/Lions$2C+Gold+and+Confusion+SAMPLERpdf.pdf