All life’s important questions answered

Black Santa of Belfast

Black Santa of Belfast

You’re asking: What is THE DARK SECRET? Where does Santa Claus live? Is world peace possible? And who won that tricky competition?

Read on and be enlightened…

1. Where does Santa Claus live? It’s not the North Pole. It’s not Greenland. Or Lapland. Or anywhere Scandinavian. Father Christmas – Santa – lives in Ireland. In Belfast, to be precise. (And why not? We’re very jolly.)

Oh! So you want proof? Here it is then… (Courtesy of Popbitch.)

North Pole v Northen Ireland

With only a few days to go until the postal deadlines for Christmas, here’s a little bit of international mail trivia we learned this week:

When kids post letters to Santa, if the letter just has “Santa” on it, it goes to Belfast.

If it has “Santa, Lapland” on it, it goes there.

And by the way, just as various cultures have their own Christmas traditions – Belfast has the (note the, not a) Black Santa. The Black Santa stands outside St Anne’s Cathedral in the drear chill, collecting for local charities. This year, he’ll appear next Monday 16th December.

2. What was THE DARK SECRET? It was an MRI scan of a banana. Ah, I can hear you all across the oceans kicking yourselves. Go back here and have a look. It’s obvious now, isn’t it? But unfortunately nobdy got it right. Not one of you.

3. But fortunately one of you got very close. Anthropith guessed that it might be a longitudinal CT/MRI scan of the stem of a plant? Perhaps. As it’s hallowe’en time, maybe a pumpkin plant? Well, no. It’s a banana. But very close guess and the winning entry. So I’ll be sending Anthropith a book list from which to choose reading material. He writes a lot about sweets and whisky/whiskey on his blog.

earthday4. Is global peace possible? Ramana at the Loose Bloggers Consortium wants to know. Answer…

  • Yes, because I’m optimistic.
  • Yes, because some outsider will come along and we’ll unite against the visitor. (Getting a little less positive…)
  • Yes, because after we flee or destroy the planet, the surviving hardworking ants will work together as usual to build a more resilient society. Of ants.
  • Yes, because the planet will be a devastated wasted emptiness. (We nuked earth but didn’t manage to find alternative accomodation in time.)
  • Yes, because our inherent goodness will triumph – or in other words, back to the first point.

Okay now pilgrim seekers after truth. That’s enough revelation for one post – except to say that it was written at the instigation of the Loose Bloggers Consortium. You can track down the rest of them in India, China and north America by clicking on their links – Ramana, Delirious, gaelikaa, MaxiPadmumShackman and The Old Fossil.



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16 responses to “All life’s important questions answered

  1. I’m a tad bit pessimistic and don’t think we can ever have world peace with humans running things because there are too many selfish power hungry people. If we had the Ghandi or Mother Teresa, or someone like that running things, then yes, we could have world peace. But we have too many corrupt politicians in the mix.

  2. We need a lot of optimists like you to become pressure groups to bring about global peace. All the best.

  3. 29

    Just one Black Santa! Apparently we have more than one. I used to think that it was the same man who sat out every day collecting and then I discovered that it was the same cloak but sometimes with a locum or locum Santas wearing it.

    • blackwatertown

      SHHHHHHH! Don’t spoil the magic. (Though I think the original Black Santa was just himself.)

    • Originally Dean Sammy Crooks undertook to stand outside Belfast Cathedral alone for the duration of the collection, I remember one interview with him back then, where he told the story of a little old lady who had crossed belfast to add to his barrel. It was bitterly cold and she wished him a Happy Christmas, and hoped he had his ‘terminals’ on!

      In recent years a team of canons from Belfast Cathedral, share the sit-out on a rota basis.

  4. 1- I think Santa lives all over the world – love the Black Santa
    2- It still ain’t obvious to me.
    3- Same as 2
    4- Huh?
    blessings ~ maxi

    • blackwatertown

      1. That would make dyslexics very nervous indeed.
      2. I got it from a doctor – it’s a banana.
      3. Anthropith – yes, bit of an unusual blog – mainly reviews sweets and whisky.
      4. I thought I should at least try to address the official Loose Bloggers Consortium topic.

  5. Just mailed out last of checks to kids and grandkids. Believe me. I am Santa. As usual.

  6. Wish I had your optimism Paul. My Irish roots want to agree with you but living in Texas is causing resistance,

    • blackwatertown

      But which part of Ireland?
      One piece of observational humour has it that northern Irish people, especially from the north east, can make their happiness appear the dourest gloominess. While a southerner may present their own misery in the brightest tones – like Johnny Marr’s guitar belying Morrisey’s lyrics.

  7. I like this post. Your story-telling style is witty, keep it up!
    You can see my efforts at 李宗瑞影片.

  8. I see you have not posted in long time. Hope you are well.

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