Invitations are not always welcome

Some invitations are more welcome than others.

One lump or two?

Some of these may be familiar.

* Just step forward sir and raise your arms out either side

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Ringo redeemed

"It's just you and me babe. Against the world." "I love you Ringo." "I love you too Ringo."

Sorry Ringo, I owe you an apology.

A few weeks ago Ringo Starr was the object of ridicule for failing to hoik one of the Vernon Girls onto his knee. The evidence is here.

All the other Beatles were beautifully laden. Ringo was the odd one out. Poor Ringo we purred, like mean Heathers.

But now the redoubtable Nigel has returned. Having slain grammatical heresy, he’ s now championing the man who was described as “not even the best drummer in the Beatles.”

Oi! Before you get too hoity toity standing up for Ringo everyone, don’t forget he was responsible for this – I’m not hosting the video here, it’s so dire – you’ll have to click on the link to see it.

But regardless of his stick and snow action, there’s nothing wrong with Ringo’s pulling power – as this newly discovered picture supplied by Nigel reveals

A diatribe on dire and dreadful English

The Vernons Girls and the Beatles. Poor old Ringo, nobody wanted to sit on his knee.

No! This is NOT a rant from an Irish man against the English. Nor indeed against anyone bearing that surname. It’s not even by me.

It’s a guest post from eminent Blackwatertown reader Nigel Morgan, who’s English himself.

It’s his heartfelt cry to the heavens about the corruption of the English language. But is he right?

A DIATRIBE ON THE DIRE AND DREADFUL!

“How are you?” I innocently asked

New proof the Rapture really DID happen

So we’re all laughing at those gullible fools who believed the Rapture was coming at the weekend. We’re all chuckling snootily and snidely down our noses. Ho ho, aren’t we so enlightened, not like those sad losers.

Well the laugh is on you.

No, not because Harold Camping has come up with a new date.

Just because neither you nor any of your mates got taken up into heaven – doesn’t mean nobody else did. Quietly. Without a fuss. While you were all (er, and me, ‘cos I’m still here too) wallowing in your complacency, the “elect” could have been boarding  SpaceShipOne for a one way trip to the celestial heights.

But that’s not it either.

The thing is, the Rapture did happen. But no men with beards were involved – not even Richard Branson. Harold Camping simply got one significant detail wrong. And here’s the proof.