Should children be allowed to drive?

Who would you rather have driving? Little Maggie – or Homer?

Why are children not allowed to drive cars?

“It’s very frustrating,” said Top Boy, age 13, “to be sitting in a moving car, but not driving it.”

Soon, I soothed him, soon…

But he was not deterred. And in fact went further. Says he: “Assuming they can pass the driving test, it’s actually more sensible for children to drive than adults.”

Because…

1. Children are used to learning and learn more quickly and effectively than adults.
2. Children are used to following the rules.
3. Children would not have such bad driving habits.
4. Children would not be in such a hurry.
5. Children would be getting such a kick out of driving they would not be letting their minds wander.
6. Children have better eyesight.
7. Children have quicker reactions.
8. Children would be less likely to be distracted by disruptive passengers. (As Top Boy pointed out, he can do 200 miles per hour on computer driving games and stay on the track even with his mates pestering him. And that’s far faster.

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Self improvement: Where teachers fear to tread…

Self improvement? Moi? Ce n’est pas possible!*

But if you really think that I do have some slight scope for enhancement (and please, no spam emails about, er, that kind of enhancement) then I’d better start watching more short clips like this one.

It’s one of the many enlightening, inspirational and entertaining TED talks. This one is about how to improve teaching in places that good teachers don’t want to go – or in ways that teachers cannot do themselves. The speaker is Indian educationalist Sugata Mitra. It’s his “hole in the wall” experiment.

What do you think? Can teachers be replaced so easily?

Futurist Arthur C Clarke is reported to have said: “A teacher who can be replaced by a machine, should be.”

If you have any teaching experience, does the impact of this experiment ring true to you?

This self-improvement idea came in a roundabout way from Helen and Adventures of an Unfit Mother. She’s funny. You should read her stuff.  (This made me laugh.) That’s

Halloween – Should I stay or should I go now?

Scariest pumpkin I’ve seen. Not – I repeat NOT – at my house. If you’re visiting this blog from outside the British Isles, just google Jimmy Savile and BBC, or… I dunno… much loved national treasure, knight of the realm, papal knight – any of those – then you’ll understand.

Halloween – it’s tonight. But I have no children at home.

So – should I get the hell out of Dodge? Or sit waiting for the doorbell to ring? (The latter feels a bit lurkish.)

Last year I was thinking of three-headed dogs. Usually I’m out with the door knockers. Feels odd to be lying in wait. (See? Sounds dodgy, doesn’t it. And lying in wait with sweets sounds even worse.)

It’s time to lighten the mood, pep up the tone. A banana should do it, huh? A Halloween banana…

What have you dressed up as for Halloween? I was a Grim Reaper once – eerie but not really pushing any boundaries. Though I was a carrot one Christmas. I began as one of a bunch – but the others faded. It was a good night out in Dublin.

Anyway – time is passing – I’d better make plans. In case the little beggars start turning up early. (See below.)

Huh! Kids those days…

Young people theose days… Out of control… No respect… Not like when I was a lad/lass… And here’s the evidence!

Your roving reporter met* a specially selected cross section of the population** who shared their own experience and opinions from the sharp end.

1. “We live in a decaying age. Young people no longer respect their parents. They are rude and impatient. They hang around pubs and have no self control.”
2. “When I was young, we were taught to be discreet and respectful of our elders, but young people today are disrespectful and out of control.”
3. “What is happening to our young people? They disrespect their elders, they disobey their parents. They ignore the law. They riot in the streets… Their morals are decaying.”
4. “The young people of today think of nothing but themselves. As for the girls, they are forward, immodest and unladylike in speech, behaviour and dress.” 

I blame the parents – the great great great great great …etc… grandparents, that is.

So what’s with this sudden display of concern for society going to hell in a handcart? Just a pretext really, to show you these clever drawings by Hark, a vagrant – and her lovely, clever, zany blog and book. History as it really/never was.

School Portrait

I asked my daughter to supply to words to this one . And top girl said: “Hey Hoberman. Hey Dapper Dan. You’ve both got your style, but brother you’re never fully dressed without a smile. Who cares what they’re wearing on Main Street or Saville Row. It’s what they wear from ear to ear and not from head to toe… that ma-ah-ters.”

Hmm – I’ve a feeling she did not just think that up on the spur of the moment. But it seems to fit this short video – which I dedicate to anyone having one of those days.

Back to school (resistance is useless)

Okay - the date's two days early, but still...

Terrible day coming up tomorrow. (Snigger)

Very sad indeed. (Giggle.)

My poor children go back to school. The summer holidays are over. (I’m crying tears of…

Keep your mouth shut at the school gate

Sometimes it’s better not to say anything at the school gate. That reputed snakepit of gossip, politics, cliques and scrutiny. And if you are foolish enough to open your big mouth, then it really is best to shut it again as soon as possible.

 Because carrying on won’t help. Oh no. The hole will just take on cavernous proportions, the better to echo your indiscretion.

I don’t know if this applies particularly to fathers – women and other adults may be equally stupid. You tell me.

But this afternoon I had the pleasure of watching a dad’s foot accelerate towards his mouth. Rather than braking or steering away from trouble, he went into crash test dummy mode.

It was only a slight slip to begin with

Explaining the Japanese nuclear crisis using poo

Once you get away from the explosions and help! Help! Radiation! Head for the hills… All this nuclear meltdown China Syndrome in Japan business gets a bit complicated. Too many millisieverts, half lives, critical masses and atomic bomb memories. Should we all be panicking? Or not?

Without wanting to be too complacent – and sitting far from Japan – I think, on balance, not.

Here are two options for you to make sense of it all.

1. Read this book. Physics for Future Presidents by Richard Muller. (Or he’s here on wikipedia.)

Or check out his University of California at Berkeley lectures on YouTube.

2. Or – watch the children’s version of events, using farting and poo.

The biggest snowball in the world, ever.

She's contemplating the snow, he's admiring my taste in music. (Anyone know the artist?)

The snow began as I wandered along and around Portobello Road, past stalls selling printers type, old maps, bananas, crepes or cheese or “antique” candlesticks.

I was chewing the fat with the bloke who sells world music as we listened to The World Ends: Afro Rock & Psychedelia in 1970s Nigeria.

The pram in the hallway

This is something you should never do. But hey, we’re all adults here. And we can shoulder responsibilities and still be experimental and creative at the same time, can’t we. More after the washing machine destruction. It gets particularly destructive at 55″ in. (Thanks ColtMonday.)

Getting back to the pram. Cyril Connolly said this:

“There is no more sombre enemy of good art than the pram in the hallway.”

A bloke would say it I suppose. A woman would just