Tag Archives: daley bread

She should have married Arthur

She’s just realised she should have married Arthur instead of Philip.

The Diamond Jubilee could have been so different, if only HM Queen Elizabeth II had married miners’ leader Arthur Scargill instead of Philip.

That’s the view from Daley Bread – scene of my unfortunate mistake and then my embarrassing retraction. I’ve since realised it’s a fount of wisdom about the world.

And the view from behind the sandwich counter is this:

The Queen should have married Arthur Scargill. Then we’d have someone to fight for and someone to fight for us.

The working class have been squeezed out of the picture. It could have been so different.

Or would it have been? Arthur Scargill and Prince Philip are not as different as you might think.

  1. They’re both known for cutting themselves on their sharp tongues. Philip: To then dictator of Paraguay, General Stroessner: “It’s a pleasure to be in a country that isn’t ruled by its people.”Arthur: “Only a fool wants a confrontation and only a fool wants a strike.”
  2. Prince Philip with coal smeared over his face to conceal his true identity.

    They’ve both shovelled coal. Arthur down Woolley Colliery. Philip in the boiler room of the RMS Empress of Russia.

  3. Philip was mentioned in despatches for his role in the Battle of Cape Matapan. Arthur was renowned for his defiance at the Battles of Satley Gate and Orgreave.
  4. Arthur was branded “the enemy within”. Philip’s relations and sisters were barred from his wedding because of their German connections.
  5. Both have been smeared in connection with the British secret services – Continue reading

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Filed under life

Does this make me an arse?

"I just hope I didn't hear you making fun of my name..."

Well. This is embarrassing.

When I asked you all if my response to a street sign meant I was a snob – it turns out that Ursula was right. Except for the “smart” part. It meant I’m an arse.

I blame Maxi for my humiliation. She encouraged me to find out the humiliating truth.

And Laurie can nod knowingly to herself. She sussed out the real picture from the beginning.

So… you remember that sign I was poking fun at for mispelling “daley bread”. You might recall my hoity toity pernickety I’m-not-buying-bread-there-they-can’t even-spell snobby attitude.

Yup, that sign.

Well. You’ll never guess the surname of the people who run the premises?

Mmm. Yes. They’re called Smith.

Phew. Thank goodness for that.

The End.

Actually. No.

Following Maxi’s UNHELPFUL comment (“If it were me though, I would be in there tryin’ out the bread, would have to know”) I pushed open the door and Continue reading

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Does this make me a snob?

I often pass this sign, but I never go inside. Does that make me a snob?

I’m aware of the value of sometimes tweaking the rules. That a market stall sign declaring Fresh Melon’s may attract attention and business, precisely because of its grammatical inaccuracy.

I’ve occasionally employed the deliberate mistake tactic myself. When a radio phone-in is slow to attract calls Continue reading

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Filed under language