Should children be allowed to drive?

Who would you rather have driving? Little Maggie – or Homer?

Why are children not allowed to drive cars?

“It’s very frustrating,” said Top Boy, age 13, “to be sitting in a moving car, but not driving it.”

Soon, I soothed him, soon…

But he was not deterred. And in fact went further. Says he: “Assuming they can pass the driving test, it’s actually more sensible for children to drive than adults.”

Because…

1. Children are used to learning and learn more quickly and effectively than adults.
2. Children are used to following the rules.
3. Children would not have such bad driving habits.
4. Children would not be in such a hurry.
5. Children would be getting such a kick out of driving they would not be letting their minds wander.
6. Children have better eyesight.
7. Children have quicker reactions.
8. Children would be less likely to be distracted by disruptive passengers. (As Top Boy pointed out, he can do 200 miles per hour on computer driving games and stay on the track even with his mates pestering him. And that’s far faster.

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Trunk Monkey

I’m off camping shortly, so this’ll have to be quick.

I should really have packed by now, but the tent is ready and the beer is stowed, so there’s just time to (re?)introduce you to an irresistible motoring innovation – the trunk monkey.

These clips are definitely entertaining.

I know, I know – doesn’t look like a monkey at all. But it’s what they call it. Apes have to put up with a lot.

Anyway – would this persuade you to buy a truck from this dealership? I’m tempted.

I’m also extra scared. It was bad enough having to worry about gun toting drivers. This adds a whole new dimension of driving terror.

Though what happens if one trunk monkey encounters another? Does professional etiquette forbid conflict? Or does is become gladiatorial? Or do they just fake it to look good for their drivers WWF-style?

They’re not bad at bribery either. My favourite is at the bottom

What I learned from George Michael today

"Hello, it's George here..."

George Michael rang up today. Yes, that one. He wanted to deny newspaper claims that he and partner Kenny Goss had split up. But the conversation soon veered off the subject.