Witch-hunts and The Sun

The former political editor of the now-on-a-Sunday-too Sun, Trevor Kavanagh, has been complaining about how investigations into phone hacking and bribing police officers at the newspaper have turned into a witch-hunt.

You may think that’s a bit rich, considering we’re talking about a news organisation that hasn’t been exactly dainty in how it’s treated other people.

But eloquent gurner Charlie Brooker has leapt to the defence of the Sun.

The script of his epic 10 O’Clock Live show rant is reproduced here, thanks to Sturdyblog. And as Sturdyblog says – Enjoy…

Some say it’s rich of The Sun to complain about witch-hunts, because it’s conducted plenty of them itself. But that’s really not fair. The Sun has never once conducted a witch-hunt against actual witches. I mean, okay, it has picked on one or two other groups, like…

Social workers
Women in burqas
Left-wingers
Suburban swingers
Binge-drinkers
Forward-thinkers
Gypsies, shirkers
Public sector workers.

Underage mums
Overage mums
Spongers who sit around twiddling their thumbs
Anyone who’s had a fight
Anyone with cellulite
Looters
Saggy hooters
Feminists

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“Can I have a lolly and a 69 please?”

Your embarrassing stories please. There’s an absolute corker at the bottom that will have you weeping. But to start with here’s this one:

I once recorded a rather rude message onto my Ex’s pda and set it as his morning alarm call.
That isn’t embarrassing in itself.
What is embarrassing, is it going off in a packed school assembly when you are a teacher as he’s left his phone in your handbag.

Here’s another short one:

After working a double shift at my part time care home job when I was at university, I came home exhausted. Got myself a into the bath for a long soak before having to head into Uni that afternoon for back to back lectures. I was really enjoying relaxing, eating chocolate buttons, eye gel mask on. When I took the mask off I could see the window cleaner at the window, he’d had a full eyeful! I was mortified.

Ten minutes later, he’d finished and… he knocked at the door to be paid

Plumb compote? Bring on the lead poisoning *

God help me, it may define me as an old git – as though any more evidence was needed – but I do like a nice piece of

A creature great in smalls

I love clever newspaper headlines.  Is this the new daddy of them all?

A creature great in smalls

Is this ethical journalism?

The Gabby Cabby in his New York cab.

Is this ethical journalism?

Islamic toilets – a plea

I’m fairly politically correct. But I was almost caught short and caught out at the weekend.