And then finally, the Obituarist happened…

In a shock development, The Obituarist has now been published as an ebook.

You can download it from Smashwords here or from Amazon here and the cover looks like this…

I fiddled around with various design packages until the incomparable Clem said: “Here, wait a minute. What if I just do this, and then this and then… Ta Dah!” See him? See computers? And guitars. And keyboards. Smashing.

At the moment The Obituarist can be downloaded (from here)  for various devices, including kindles, or just your normal computer. But it’s not on Amazon yet, though I’m working on it. It’s on Amazon here.

What I really want to do is just frolic around smiling away to myself and getting the next one ready.

But your feedback would be welcome

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Reasons to be cheerful – Part Two

There’s a hawthorn tree in there. No really.

Coincidentally, I was feeling cheerful this time last year. This is why I’m in a good mood now.

1. I planted a hawthorn tree. Few things are better than planting a tree. Putting down roots. Engaging with nature. Creating a legacy that will last till…  Well, I hope it’s still there. I haven’t looked since the weekend. Better check it tomorrow. It’s tucked away in a corner between the village recreation ground and the allotments.

2. I encountered someone who has changed her mind and admitted she was wrong. She’s discovered she can’t wipe away what she wrote. But she’s apologising and rejecting the wrong. I find that refreshing. Good on you Nadia.

OK, I admit it. Some people’s hole digging productivity was a lot higher than mine. But surely that’s what Scouts are good at?

3. It may take a while, but given time and a fair wind, even a writer who it seemed had been written off, can get a publishing deal

Your advice on e-publishing please

This is not the cover image for The Obituarist. It's a bit too fantasy.

Any day/week/soon now I will publish one of my stories for e-readers and to download.

It’s called The Obituarist. It has been described as mordant, funny, dark, teasing and ironic.*

It involves a newspaper obituary writer and the aging members of an elite military unit who became famous for a particular heroic wartime exploit.

Without giving too much away, you can expect to find occasional handlebar moustaches, hyphenated surnames, stiff drinks, greed, treachery and death. Well, the latter is hardly a surprise given the title. But I hope the twists will be.

Before I press publish I need some help

What publishers really mean in their rejection letters

You see Barbara? It's not all dogs here.

Not that I’d know myself, you understand. Well, er, except maybe a wee bit… I guess it applies to agents too.

Jonny Geller‘s piece in the Guardian this week pulled back the curtain of euphemism and laid bare the squatting toad of honesty. He’s been tweeting the real meaning of phrases that publishers use to say Get Stuffed under the hashtag #publishingeuphemisms – glib phrases translated below:

“this is too literary for our list” (it’s boring)

“the novel never quite reached the huge potential of its promise” (your pitch letter was better than the book)

“sadly we are publishing a book similar to this next spring” (it too has a beginning, middle and end)

“You should join Twitter” (we are not spending a dime on your publicity) – that one came from the US

“we all fell in love with the book” (my assistant took your manuscript home and has now lost it)

“do you think we need the back story? (I hated the first twenty chapters.)

 “In a way I think the back story IS the story” (I hated the last twenty chapters.)

RIP books v RIP publishers

Bang! Straight through the paperback. Bang! Publishers bite the dust too.

Originally I was kicking myself up the backside to get my book published while books still exist – the corporeal paper kind that is.

Now it seems as though “terrified” publishers may pre-decease their products – if this alarming/alarmist article by Guy Adams in the Independent newspaper is correct.

As celebrities choose Amazon, is this the end for publishers?

Who needs publishers? Not James Franco, the artsy Hollywood star, who has just signed a deal to write his first novel; and not Amazon, the vast online retailer which beat the traditional giants of the industry to secure the high-profile author

Forget paperbacks or ebooks – the next books are on T-shirts

Hardbacks, paperbacks and now ebooks too. What do they have in common? They’re old news.

You could be reading – or publishing – your next book on a T-shirt.

The Truth About Pandas

Finally - the truth about pandas. All these years the Chinese have been fooling us. According to Fuxing Man they're really just dogs in disguise. Click on the pic for more.

Got a letter yesterday. Personal, important looking. But not a bill. Could it be… a book response? Too small to contain a returned manuscript. Good news? Bad news? Palpitations…