Secrets

Don’t click on this because it’ll reveal where we’re going.

Will Knott wants to know my secrets. Nosy, isn’t he?

But given that a secret is – Something you only tell one person… at a time.

I suppose I can reveal this secret just to you.

Tomorrow I’m off to a place where Google Streetview does not function. It’s a place where, to paraphrase U2, the streets have no surface at all. In fact you’d need to be Jesus to cross to the shop opposite. Jaywalking is not banned – just laughed at.

You can slip your suggestions into this cute letterbox. Looks like C3PO’s postal cousin. But don’t click on the picture!

Shhh! Don’t say it.

Don’t mention that the

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The day I went to Hell and back. Literally.

Me escaping from Hell/Hel - disguised as Frank Sinatra in Von Ryan's Express.

No really. This really is about the day I really went to Hell and back. Literally. (And I use that term advisedly.)*

I’ve mentioned Hell before, but I’m only telling you about this at the request of the Loose Bloggers Consortium (you can find their links if you scroll down the right hand side column), who are focussing on travel troubles.

And I think getting kicked out of Hell qualifies. In fact, Hell couldn’t hold me.* *

Going there in the first place seemed like such a good idea at the time. Unique destination. Bit quirky. Warm, though not quite as warm as we’ve all been led to believe

Imagine if… all police chases were like this

Imagine if…

…all police chases were like this…

Some fantastic euphemisms in the video: “A response vehicle soon arrives and notifies the felon of their presence.” = blasts holes in their van.

I’ve driven round a fair bit of South Africa, with and without hitchhikers. (The deal is

13 gifts from Basel to the world

1. 

   Barca or Basel?

   

   Basel or Barca?

   BARCA. FC Barcelona comes from Basel. Barca was co-founded by a Swiss guy, Johann (who became Joan) Gamper who was allegedly inspired by FC Basel. Both teams play in red and blue. Both are FCB. Both have the same football.

2. BABIES. All babies come from Basel. You just need to look at all the storks pootling around the fields.
3. LSD. LSD comes from Basel. It was made by local chemist Albert Hoffman in 1938, though he didn’t realise until 1943 when he accidentally absorbed some through his fingertips. He described the sensation:  “I sank into a not unpleasant intoxicated-like condition, characterized by an extremely stimulated imagination. In a dreamlike state, with eyes closed (I found the daylight to be unpleasantly glaring), I perceived an uninterrupted stream of fantastic pictures, extraordinary shapes with intense, kaleidoscopic play of colors. After some two hours this condition faded away.”
4. ISRAEL. Israel comes from Basel.

Congratulations – Marriage in China

Marriage Book - China

This is how you get married in China. Thanks to our newly married (Congratulations!) guest contributor who’s currently expat in Beijing. I’ll let M take up the story:

Last week I caught a sleeper train to Changchun on Monday night. I was in a room with 5 big fat Chinese men, one of whom snored like crazy. He was in the bunk above me, and I really thought it would collapse, he was so fat.

I got to Changchun, and remembered how cold it was. Warmer than January, but still around minus 12. Met LN and we went to the registry office, expecting to complete everything that day. China is drowning in official paperwork and red stamps. Turns out the red stamp on LN’s “Hukou” (family book that lists your parents, siblings, and crucially what province you ‘belong’ to) was not clear enough.