Zsa Zsa Gabor, huge fan of marriage - nine life sentences. Her verdict? "A man in love is incomplete until he has married. Then he’s finished.”
“Marriage, huh! Good God. What is it good for Continue reading
The wedding invitation had two photos.
On the front were a boy and a girl sitting together on the grass. She’s Su. He’s Wink. Both wearing cowboy hats. Both with whistles. Arms round each other. She’s holding a bunch of flowers and from the way she’s looking at the boy, clearly thinks he’s the best thing since soda bread (or whatever people round here like for breakfast). At the age of, I dunno, six? It’s obvious that they’re best buddies.
But it couldn’t last, could it? Continue reading
Your embarrassing stories please. There’s an absolute corker at the bottom that will have you weeping. But to start with here’s this one:
I once recorded a rather rude message onto my Ex’s pda and set it as his morning alarm call.
That isn’t embarrassing in itself.
What is embarrassing, is it going off in a packed school assembly when you are a teacher as he’s left his phone in your handbag.
Here’s another short one:
After working a double shift at my part time care home job when I was at university, I came home exhausted. Got myself a into the bath for a long soak before having to head into Uni that afternoon for back to back lectures. I was really enjoying relaxing, eating chocolate buttons, eye gel mask on. When I took the mask off I could see the window cleaner at the window, he’d had a full eyeful! I was mortified.
Ten minutes later, he’d finished and… he knocked at the door to be paid Continue reading
New takes on recent events.
1. The Royal Wedding.
Remember how you were saying to yourself as you watched the royal wedding, how some of the main players looked looked naturally – but also strangely – familiar? This is why.
We’d only left the door open for a moment. Continue reading
I only married him cos he looked like you...
The excitement is building. The tiaras are being dusted off. The red, white and blue wigs are being pulled out from the backs of cupboards.
Our street is preparing for a party. We finally found an excuse for a neighbourly shindig. It’s… ah… it’ll come to me…
Oh aye. Kate and William are getting married on Friday and we’re shutting down the area for a tea party. No, not that kind of tea party – the dainty sandwiches type of tea party.
We’ll have the traditional tables up the road, cucumber sandwiches (but with or without the crusts – that’s the dilemma), toasts, nostalgia for an imagined past we never knew and general silliness.
No doubt there’ll be a fair amount of royal-related tat on display. Our mugs from China arrived broken – so they’ll not do as prizes. But do you think them smashing in transit is a bad omen for the royal couple? Or are the bad vibes mitigated by the fact they showed a picture of Harry, not Wills, cosying up to Kate. Maybe it was for the best that the wrong brother and the bride-to-be were sundered.
Not a good likeness.
Not everyone on the road is happy about the party Continue reading
Marriage Book - China
This is how you get married in China. Thanks to our newly married (Congratulations!) guest contributor who’s currently expat in Beijing. I’ll let M take up the story:
Last week I caught a sleeper train to Changchun on Monday night. I was in a room with 5 big fat Chinese men, one of whom snored like crazy. He was in the bunk above me, and I really thought it would collapse, he was so fat.
I got to Changchun, and remembered how cold it was. Warmer than January, but still around minus 12. Met LN and we went to the registry office, expecting to complete everything that day. China is drowning in official paperwork and red stamps. Turns out the red stamp on LN’s “Hukou” (family book that lists your parents, siblings, and crucially what province you ‘belong’ to) was not clear enough. Continue reading
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