Big dog tried to eat our royal wedding cakes

We’d only left the door open for a moment.

In sniffs dog number one. Ralph. He’s lovely. (And already dressed for the festivities as you can see.)

Then up and in rushes dog number two, skidding and skittering across the hallway – heading for the kitchen – and the royal wedding street party cakes.

And the house made of sweets. (Picture below. Looks doddery, but cute.)

Collar grabbed just in time. Out.

Ralph, polite dignified hound that he is, left of his own accord without so much as a lick.

The bunting is up. No point in putting out tables, chairs, tents, food, booze, tattoo parlour, stocks, goalposts, bagpipes, trumpets, guess the baby competition, balloons, face painting, tea urn or speakers till the morning.

Time for one last rehearsal. (Thanks to On My Watch for the suggestion. See cartoon below.)

And you’ll never guess who I met when I got to the pub – Kate and William, propping up the bar.

They didn’t say much. Just stood and smiled.

Weren’t drinking. Bit two dimensional really. Made from cardboard.

Funny video in a minute. But first, did you know about Kate’s connection to Jordan?

And have you read the story about Sarah Brightman, Jack Lemmon and the burger?

It’s hilariously shocking – or should that be shockingly hilarious. No really, worth a quick look. (No relevance to royalty at all. Just funny.)

So to finish, here’s sports commentator Jack Edwards topical musings on the injustice of royalty.

Or ice hockey.

Or both.

Fingers crossed for good weather on Friday.



Filed under In the village

14 responses to “Big dog tried to eat our royal wedding cakes

  1. smile, smile, smile, smile

  2. I hear there is a shortage of bunting over there. Either the bunting makers were negative in their outlook or the enthusiasm for a national party got out of control. Either way it all sounds like a really, really good time. Sorry to miss out. It will be raining here as well. That’s one thing about rain. It just falls willy nilly. No one is in charge of rain in heaven. Only thunderbolts. I mean seriously, did you ever meet the god or goddess of rain? No one would volunteer to take it on. Sun god, yes – lots of candidates – but rain? Not worth your time. So many people like to curl up with a book on a rainy day that it has some appreciation. I say be comfortable inside by the telly. Eat your hearts out and invite the dogs in.

  3. Wonderful post by the by.

  4. You are doing this wedding thing in a mindset of waggish, postmodern irony, aren’t you?

    Ralph looks adorable, btw.

  5. Hi BWT! Thanks for the honor of the link :). This is a fun event, somewhere between royalty addicts and Captain Buzzkill protestors, should be great!

    Our local paper just now got around to covering Kate’s preschool:

    Love the cupcakes!!!

  6. You’ve given us another great one Paul.

    Mad for the cartoon … dress rehearsal … riiight.

  7. Barbara Rodgers


  8. Great post lol 😉 Loved Ralph!
    Not a bad “do” in London on Friday either lol I was there 🙂 Didn’t get to see much…one or two bodies getting in the way of my line of sight…but I did get a good view of the royal kisses on the big screen in Trafalager Square! Great view of the Memorial Flight on it’s way to Buck Pal too…right royal treat that was since nobody expected them to come in from that direction…made ya proud to be British they did!

  9. Wow, we did absolutely nothing to celebrate the royal wedding. No bunting, no souvenirs, no parties, nothing. This generation’s Charles and Di, and the whole thing passed us by (he writes while desperately stiffling any tasteless remarks).

    Things I’ve learned about myself today:
    1 – I’m not a royalist
    2 – I’m very careful with money
    3 – I’m socially phobic
    4 – I have incredible self-restraint

  10. I didn’t watch the wedding.

    Perhaps if I’d been in your neck of the woods, the cupcakes would have inspired me to watch.

    Alas, I imagine that once the royal affairs start, I’ll be right there.

  11. Enjoyed my lunch break very much being kept entertained by this post 🙂

  12. blackwatertown

    Thanks all.
    The rain held off.
    Report in next post.

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